Beer flavored gravy.

Bear flavored gravy is good.
Gravy flavored beer is NOT good.

Thin skinned people.

Unfortunately for those of us who are thin-skinned, I believe the only way for us to grow thicker skin is through scars.

Heisenberg

When I meet God, I am going to ask him two questions: why relativity? and why turbulence? I really believe he will have an answer for the first. ---W. Heisenberg, on his death bed

Driving

Their are a lot of marginal drivers out there. I bet these two were talking on cell phones.

Chinese Crowd Control

I'm thinking the Chinese may have some problems with crowd control. While the military swat uniform is quite intimidating, its effect is completely underwhelmed by the toy-looking guns and segways. Segway!!?? In general, I don't think you want your riot police looking as though they might fall down at any moment.

In America, we use horses with surly looking Italian-American cops in the saddle . . . with clubs.

People and Dogs

Some people have way too much time on their hands . . . and very tolerant dogs.

People

There are two types of people:

People who do believe there are only two types of people and people who don't.

Politics

I think that we should probably let our children form their own opinions about politics.

McCain
McCan
Can I get some McFries with that?

Intelligence

It is o.k. to think that you are smarter than some other people.

It is not o.k. to think that you are better than those people because you are smarter than them.

It is o.k. to think that you are better (and smarter) than the people on Jerry Springer.

Celebrities and the Paparazzi

If you are famous and constantly being annoyed by the Paparazzi, maybe you should hire a couple of photographers to follow you around and constantly take pictures of you. Then you give the photos away.

I'm assuming that if you constantly give away the same photos that the paparazzi are taking, you can put them out of a job.

You might lose a little bit of privacy (like you have any), but at least you could eliminate the crowd of camera waving idiots.

Think it would work?

Bad Windows Analogy

Microsoft Windows is kind of like a pinto. Not the bean, the car.

Microsoft started with a crappy product and has been building on it ever since it was introduced in the 80's.

They've stripped out the interior and added upgrades like faux-leather seats and gps and satellite radio. They've re-molded the exterior to make the car look like a respectable mid-sized sedan. They've even improved the engine a bit (though not enough to make it any faster with all the extra added weight). The soul of the car, however, is still that of a pinto.

From this morning's sermon.

You can't pay back love. You can only pass it on. --Dr. Tom Rough

Plumbers' . . . Cleavage

If you scroll down to yesterday's thought, you can see that Vicky hypothesized that self-esteem directly correlated with the height at which people wear their pants.

This does not hold up well for plumbers. For them, low riding pants and borderline hygiene are marks of professionalism and experience.

Most of you by now have at some point in your careers known of or worked for one of those overbearing, micro-managing, constantly looking over you shoulder douche bag pointy haired managers. We all hate these people. Justifiably so.

What we fail to realize, however, is that when we become homeowners, we invariable become that douche bag. Which brings us to why plumbers seem to be so oblivious to their personal odors and ass cleavage.

It is quite easy for pointy haired boss to lean over a worker's shoulder at his or her computer and pepper them with a bunch of inane questions.

It takes real intestinal fortitude for pointy haired homeowner to lean over that smelly butt cleavage to do the same.

So when you wander into your kitchen and see (and smell) a little too much of your plumber, rest assured that you have hired an experienced, competent professional. And leave him alone.

Self-esteem

The self esteem of a young person is directly proportional to the height at which they wear their pants. So if you can see a butterfly tattoo and/or ass crack, feel a little sorry for that pathetic soul.

This does not apply to plumbers/contractors (I'll address this tomorrow in thought #2).

My wife Vicky is the originator of this observation.